 | A place to come and get "Off" |
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12-18-2006, 03:50 PM
| #1 |
| V.I.P User  Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Earth
Posts: 608
Tokenz: 286   |  Let me blow your mind for a minute. Please excuse the lack of correct punctuation. I sometimes just open up wordpad and write whats going through my brain. Let me know what you think. I wrote this work after a breakup with a long time girlfriend. i wish i could do something for you i wish i could paint a portrait with every color never before seen infinite combinations multiplied by infinite textures multiplied by infinite hues spectacular prisms shattered by your spectacular brilliance you always brought the best news every tear my angel cries leads to oceans of despair for those who have hurt her and i staggered back because in flawed humans we have found the stream of perfection and you still keep going... i close my eyes and follow on her tint is opaquely bright...she smiles like 10,000 atomic bomb blasts at once... there is no escape for the earth is hypnotized by her light. the world stops and in that moment i am happy like a kid then i saw your fingers break from mine and i see you running in slow motion, summer's love in your soft eyes spinning in a long flowing dress, time turns pause button still and i struggle to remember you as you were, frame by frame each shimmering pose is just you relenquishing your role in "nature's grace"; the "beautiful girl, with a beautiful face". now the nights are cold and they are slow lightening struck and i still didn't want to let her go... i am trying so hard my burned hands cling for the happiness to my soul but i can't hold on...i am trying but i just can't.. as i cling for dear life, i feel my fingers give..... and there it is... i am floating throught this silent black vaccum void; summersaulting deep in space towards no paticular direction... i am lost on an unkown map; marooned on an imaginary grid. and i just watch you go because i can't hold on, i just can't.... i am left with the blinding, deafening, forever burning, tormenting reality that was only a moment for you, was a lifetime for me......
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12-18-2006, 03:51 PM
| #2 |
| V.I.P User  Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: It's pronounced "Trawna"
Posts: 4,077
Tokenz: 517 | Re: Let me blow your mind for a minute. That's really very beautiful. And punctuation? In poetry? There are no rules for that! 
__________________ attention stalkers! i want to be your friend. |
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12-18-2006, 03:55 PM
| #3 | |
| V.I.P User Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Earth
Posts: 608
Tokenz: 286 | Re: Let me blow your mind for a minute. Quote:
__________________ Specialized Effex. | |
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12-18-2006, 04:20 PM
| #4 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Ontario
Posts: 321
Tokenz: 277 | Re: Let me blow your mind for a minute. I like it.  |
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12-20-2006, 09:30 PM
| #5 |
| V.I.P User  Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,622
Tokenz: 766 | Re: Let me blow your mind for a minute. Thats beautiful, Thanks for sharing, Look forward to hopefully reading more from you |
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12-21-2006, 11:27 PM
| #6 |
| watch it...I bite  Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: CT
Posts: 8,098
Tokenz: 2,420 | Re: Let me blow your mind for a minute. that was so beautiful...I'm so glad you shared |
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