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| | #1 |
| Moderator Staff Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Hot Springs Arkansas
Posts: 20,377
Tokenz: 10,840 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006 SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." SMART ASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead." SMART ASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. SMART ASS ANSWER #2 A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." |
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| | #2 |
| Minor Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Hades
Posts: 2,185
Tokenz: 480 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | thanks sweety! i needed that today! lol |
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| | #3 |
| someone needs a life Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: in a depressed state
Posts: 10,665
Tokenz: 52,260 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | do you mean 'smart arse'? ![]() |
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| | #4 |
| up yours you scum sucker Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: 7th layer of hell...I mean southern Md
Posts: 874
Tokenz: 2,067 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | haha a couple of them were old but still hilarious
__________________ you look like a retarded slingblade |
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| | #5 |
| V.I.P User Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,622
Tokenz: 1,152 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | lol.. Here's your sign |
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| | #6 |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: georgia baby
Posts: 6,250
Tokenz: 1,290 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | lmao those were great i love the last one |
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| | #7 |
| V.I.P User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Half past a monkeys ass and quarter to it's Ballz
Posts: 10,318
Tokenz: 56,243 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | yeah im with heather. i loved that one too. if these are true that teacher totally ownd that kid. lmao
__________________ Sex Is A Sensation Caused By Temptation Where A Guy Sticks His Location Into A Gurls Destination To Increase The Population For The Next Generation Do You Get My Explination Or Do You Need A Demonstration? |
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| | #8 |
| It's Business Time Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Harlow, Essex, England
Posts: 22,772
Tokenz: 105,220 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | Class! I've got another one. At a U2 concert Bono asks for the crowd to fall silent. When it's so quiet you could hear a pin drop, Bono starts clapping. He then says "for every time I clap my hands a starving child in Africa dies!" Without hesitation a voice from the back shouts "well stop fucking clapping then!" ![]() |
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| | #9 | ||
| V.I.P User Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: BC Canada, Eh?
Posts: 4,016
Tokenz: 596 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | Quote:
Quote:
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