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Old 10-27-2006, 03:40 PM   #1
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Default The best 6 smartass answers of 2006

THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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Old 10-27-2006, 04:22 PM   #2
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Default Re: The best 6 smartass answers of 2006

thanks sweety! i needed that today! lol
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Old 10-27-2006, 06:32 PM   #3
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Default Re: The best 6 smartass answers of 2006

do you mean 'smart arse'?
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Old 10-27-2006, 08:48 PM   #4
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Default Re: The best 6 smartass answers of 2006

haha a couple of them were old but still hilarious
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Old 10-27-2006, 10:33 PM   #5
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Default Re: The best 6 smartass answers of 2006

lol.. Here's your sign
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Old 10-28-2006, 12:08 AM   #6
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Default Re: The best 6 smartass answers of 2006

lmao those were great i love the last one
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Old 10-28-2006, 12:37 AM   #7
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Default Re: The best 6 smartass answers of 2006

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Originally Posted by hhayes View Post
lmao those were great i love the last one
yeah im with heather. i loved that one too. if these are true that teacher totally ownd that kid. lmao
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Old 10-28-2006, 11:55 AM   #8
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Default Re: The best 6 smartass answers of 2006

Class! I've got another one.

At a U2 concert Bono asks for the crowd to fall silent. When it's so quiet you could hear a pin drop, Bono starts clapping. He then says "for every time I clap my hands a starving child in Africa dies!" Without hesitation a voice from the back shouts "well stop fucking clapping then!"
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Old 10-28-2006, 04:44 PM   #9
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Default Re: The best 6 smartass answers of 2006

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Originally Posted by Mrs Behavin View Post
THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006

SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
I'd do it!

Quote:
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Oh snap! I have so many teachers that burn our students. priceless.
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