Tazzy

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying
the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the
whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with
a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific
fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful
blonde in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she
closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she
blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever
experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a
giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and
fresh-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the
cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the
dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be
your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked
him what to give you." He said, "Screw him, give him a
dollar."

The blonde then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

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~~~~Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling, when you feel like stripping your gears~~~~

Tazzy

Subject: Men Never Listen

On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get
into
the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

The flight attendant noticed his predicament. "Sir," she said," You may
use
the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the
wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the button he
had
promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA,
PP ,
and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon
his
bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have
nice
things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air
replaced
the warm water, gently drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff
caressed his
bottom adding a fragile! scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable
pleasure.

The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving
pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push
the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as soon as he opened his eyes.
A
! nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face.

What happened?" he exclaimed.

You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse. The last button
marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your
pillow."

__________________
~~~~Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling, when you feel like stripping your gears~~~~

StangMang

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Heard it before on here :think

Tazzy

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the
crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.

As soon as he could manage he took himself to the doctor. He said "How
bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée
is
still a virgin in every way." The doctor told him, "I'll have to put
your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should
be
okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors, formed a neat
little four-sided bandage, and wired it all together.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl before he marries her, and
they go off on their honeymoon.

That night in the motel room she rips open her blouse to reveal a
gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he'd seen them.
She said, "You're the first; no one has ever touched these breasts.
Next,
she takes off her panties and reveals the golden fruit. She says,
"You're the first; no one has ever touched me here."

Barely able to contain himself he immediately drops his pants and
replies ......
"look at this; it's still in the CRATE!"

__________________
~~~~Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling, when you feel like stripping your gears~~~~

StangMang

haha :funnah

Tazzy

Havin a bad day?

The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
You're a Siamese twin.
Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay.
You're not.
He has a date coming over today.
But you only have one butt.

Feel better?

__________________
~~~~Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling, when you feel like stripping your gears~~~~

IntruderLS1

LMAO @ "It's still in the crate" :lol

__________________

MrAWatts

Lmao at all of them, I wanna hear more.

__________________

Add me - http://www.myspace.com/mrawatts

StangTang

yes indeed very funnah :banana

__________________
Racing a honda then bragging about winning, is like bragging about fucking a retard !

wolfwallker

the siemese one is messed up