Pet Rules

Mrs Behavin · 08-23-2006, 12:29 AM

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

andcuriouser · 08-23-2006, 12:53 AM

This is so cute. And very true.

R.A.T. Army · 08-23-2006, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andcuriouser

This is so cute. And very true.

.................................................. .....

Jersey · 08-23-2006, 11:30 AM

hahahaaaa
i personally like rule 11 the best!!

SilentEyz · 08-23-2006, 10:41 PM

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

Ain't this thee truth, My Lil anne, becomes almost as long as me when she stretches out at night, And she aint that big a dog

GuesSAngel · 08-23-2006, 10:57 PM

I couldn't agree more with this letter

Eridanus · 05-11-2007, 07:17 PM

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

Sneakiecat · 05-11-2007, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eridanus

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

If my dad's not in bed, the dog will crawl into his spot and put his head on the pillow. It freaked my mom out the first time it happened but she's gotten use to it now.

GuesSAngel · 05-11-2007, 08:10 PM

haha that's really cute!!

sundvlfn88 · 05-11-2007, 08:38 PM

That is true.

Peter Parka · 05-12-2007, 01:23 PM

Quality! Shame the stupid dog can't read!

08-23-2006, 12:29 AM	#1
Mrs Behavin Moderator Staff Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Hot Springs Arkansas Posts: 20,802 Tokenz: 12,139	Pet Rules To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less 2. Don't ask for money all the time 3 Are easier to train 4. Normally come when called 5. Never ask to drive the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. __________________ http://amyssweettoothrecipes.blogspot.com/ http://dumasgang.blogspot.com/

08-23-2006, 10:57 PM	#6
GuesSAngel The newest, greatest mom in the world Staff Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: PA Posts: 14,933 Tokenz: 24,159	I couldn't agree more with this letter __________________ Proud mommy...best thing I've ever been called

05-11-2007, 07:17 PM	#7
Eridanus Banned Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 2,039	Dear Dogs and Cats To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

05-11-2007, 08:10 PM	#9
GuesSAngel The newest, greatest mom in the world Staff Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: PA Posts: 14,933 Tokenz: 24,159	Re: Dear Dogs and Cats haha that's really cute!!

05-11-2007, 08:38 PM	#10
sundvlfn88 Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Arizona Posts: 5,012 Tokenz: 895	Re: Dear Dogs and Cats That is true. __________________ RODEO, THE FIRST REAL EXTREME SPORT!!

08-23-2006, 12:53 AM	#2
andcuriouser V.I.P User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: It's pronounced "Trawna" Posts: 4,075 Tokenz: 698	This is so cute. And very true.

08-23-2006, 11:30 AM	#4
Jersey Mrs. Dontchaknow Senior Staff Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Flo-Rida Posts: 18,040 Tokenz: 234,530	hahahaaaa i personally like rule 11 the best!!

08-23-2006, 10:41 PM	#5
SilentEyz V.I.P User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 5,619 Tokenz: 1,301	It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. Ain't this thee truth, My Lil anne, becomes almost as long as me when she stretches out at night, And she aint that big a dog

05-12-2007, 01:23 PM	#11
Peter Parka King Of Cunts Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Harlow, Essex, England Posts: 24,137 Tokenz: 48,372	Re: Dear Dogs and Cats Quality! Shame the stupid dog can't read! __________________

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