Poetry Battle...

dazner · 09-01-2008, 03:38 PM

hope you enjoy this one on this site that use to exist oh about 5 years ago I had a "Poem Battle" back and forth with this one guy named MR. Dread...his beliefs were pro-war...He was pretty much an angry Hispanic male..angry at the fact of racism towards hispanic...as you can tell it was a hispanic chat site...but here were the poems enjoy...

dazner's...

yo all this talk of revolutionaries got me feeling so ill
how the fuck you can say your out for a good cause when your still out to kill
murderous talk enemies crouch the line to get bullets embeeded first
it's war afair underground taste of blood loss to which side took the beating worst
serial cats demonic in deminor come slow to get killed fast
most "Revo's" don't last....talk about freedom ya get blast
it's an ongoing stuggle but why spark shit in the first place
isn't our cause to be united to be the most accomplished race
hate fills our lungs the ever sence of worth is insanity
were never gonna be the ones left with a kill who mentality
come right take your religious cause and put meaning to words
this disease we released has killed more humans than the plaque with birds
we should face it this goverments criminal minds wasted
it's a ever-lost-struggle for survival finger prints on the gun who traced it?
not mine or yours but ours together on the trigger please don't pull
cause my bloods just as red as the next ready to kill fool...

Mr. Dread's..

greetings to all,

it takes a revolution to make a solution
so much fustration-so much confusion
i dont want to live in the park
cant trust no shadows after dark
so my friend i wish that you could see
like a bird in the tree
gods soldiers must be free

never let a politician grant you a favour
he will always want to control you forever
so if a fire-make it burn
and if its blood-then make it run
gods soldiers are on top
so you cant predict the flop

kill, cramp and paralyze-all weak at conception
wipe them heathens out from creation
let rightousness cover the earth
teach them youth-start from birth

dazner's...

nice...

gods every meaning is life so how can you call your self his soldier
not granted finer things i admit but why kill to try and take over
The "Man" isn't me or you..white or brown but ignorance at it's best
saying another life is worth dying for you to catch a break is simply grotesque
campare yourself to African natives that kill for diamonds and hay
cause killing for a way out of hell has just guarantee'd you a stay
Parks aren't so dark if you learn to make wine out of water
Don't consider yourself free? move the bug grow independence from slaughters
a machetti and a gun are for survival not for stardom thru warfare
cause what god did to free himself from the cross and your "war" don't compare
fighting for a meaning should be considered a fight already lost
cause to give my live is suicide in "Gods eyes" an unforgivable cost
why be what you consider "free" on earth for an eternity of damnation
if God exist truly then let him provide this earth with salvation...

Mr. Dread's...

your good !

from ancient times , god commanded his army
solomon, king david-so i continue the fight

there is a natural mystic blowing through the air
if you listen carefully now-you will hear
this could be the first trumpet
might as well be the last
many more will have to suffer-many more will have to die
dont ask me why.....

i try to live my life by the book of life
even though i know-some is a lie
i try my best to do my best-and still we cry
if i am wrong-let my god condem me
if i am right-let me bask in his glory of his light
so to all my foe's and freinds
you may live to see today
but we not know the end

dazner's...

The end is everclear present every day it shines bright
it's around every corner in every car at every street light
unevidable it's a part of gods plan but at his time not ours
to be created equal is a lie but we don't hold the powers
why attempt to convert my energy to a cause mayhem for a dream
it's just that and may not come true ever why be part of this team
Never be condemed though my tears pierce through bullets astray
cause my words mean more than a war each letter is life in another day
I'll forever ponder the these plots set by "our" leaders for a free race
to give my life for this cause is to say i'm done and tired of this place
but i live for that which needs me for that i could never be erased
my existance is more than just a one cause but to free the world
in my beliefs i'm forever straight in my cause i'll never be curled
Do we really get charged a fee for being Brown cause truth is i haven't paid
For one voice can make difference a forever echo never to fade..

KittyKatM · 09-01-2008, 05:49 PM

Thats Really Deep,
Love It
Keep Up The Good Writing ^_^
x

dazner · 09-01-2008, 06:48 PM

TY appreciate the feed!

Zorak · 09-03-2008, 07:37 AM

You're pretty good actually - I'd take a little more thought into the layout of the poem.

a good poem can be ruined by poor layout, theres no set rule as to how to set out a poem, it just has to fit the mood.

But your a better writer than the other guy there

wednesday · 09-03-2008, 07:46 AM

Well written daz <<impressed *hugs*

dazner · 09-03-2008, 04:49 PM

thanks Zorak and Wedzy...

I tried to take it a little easy with vocab on this one because most of the people on that site don't use as much as I do but...hey...

thanks again..for the feed!

Valentin · 09-03-2008, 05:03 PM

i like lemons i like aid. lemonade diet. shall bring great success.

dazner · 09-03-2008, 05:07 PM

you get wierder by the day Valentino!

Anie · 09-03-2008, 05:07 PM

that is beautiful!!!! I love poetry and this is very imaginative, symbolic, meaningful... keep it up!

dazner · 09-03-2008, 05:20 PM

i have plenty more...

hey Anie post some of your work...

Anie · 09-03-2008, 05:25 PM

I lost my work actually but I can write one up soon I suppose. You're very great!

dazner · 09-04-2008, 09:32 AM

TY and ps...people be truthfull with me please...

if you really don't like it just tell me...

I'm sure you guys won't have a problem with that right?

siasl · 09-06-2008, 04:16 PM

still just browsin' around here, gettin to know the place

nice stuff, dazner

SouthOfHeaven · 09-06-2008, 04:24 PM

I'm telling ya.. Daz great stuff here!!

Fox Mulder · 09-06-2008, 04:58 PM

Okay--here is Mulder's poetry.

Roses are Red
Violet are Blue
Wendzy is hot
SOH is too!!!

09-01-2008, 03:38 PM	#1
dazner Who you'd like to be! Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3,596 Tokenz: 4,993	Poetry Battle... hope you enjoy this one on this site that use to exist oh about 5 years ago I had a "Poem Battle" back and forth with this one guy named MR. Dread...his beliefs were pro-war...He was pretty much an angry Hispanic male..angry at the fact of racism towards hispanic...as you can tell it was a hispanic chat site...but here were the poems enjoy... dazner's... yo all this talk of revolutionaries got me feeling so ill how the fuck you can say your out for a good cause when your still out to kill murderous talk enemies crouch the line to get bullets embeeded first it's war afair underground taste of blood loss to which side took the beating worst serial cats demonic in deminor come slow to get killed fast most "Revo's" don't last....talk about freedom ya get blast it's an ongoing stuggle but why spark shit in the first place isn't our cause to be united to be the most accomplished race hate fills our lungs the ever sence of worth is insanity were never gonna be the ones left with a kill who mentality come right take your religious cause and put meaning to words this disease we released has killed more humans than the plaque with birds we should face it this goverments criminal minds wasted it's a ever-lost-struggle for survival finger prints on the gun who traced it? not mine or yours but ours together on the trigger please don't pull cause my bloods just as red as the next ready to kill fool... Mr. Dread's.. greetings to all, it takes a revolution to make a solution so much fustration-so much confusion i dont want to live in the park cant trust no shadows after dark so my friend i wish that you could see like a bird in the tree gods soldiers must be free never let a politician grant you a favour he will always want to control you forever so if a fire-make it burn and if its blood-then make it run gods soldiers are on top so you cant predict the flop kill, cramp and paralyze-all weak at conception wipe them heathens out from creation let rightousness cover the earth teach them youth-start from birth dazner's... nice... gods every meaning is life so how can you call your self his soldier not granted finer things i admit but why kill to try and take over The "Man" isn't me or you..white or brown but ignorance at it's best saying another life is worth dying for you to catch a break is simply grotesque campare yourself to African natives that kill for diamonds and hay cause killing for a way out of hell has just guarantee'd you a stay Parks aren't so dark if you learn to make wine out of water Don't consider yourself free? move the bug grow independence from slaughters a machetti and a gun are for survival not for stardom thru warfare cause what god did to free himself from the cross and your "war" don't compare fighting for a meaning should be considered a fight already lost cause to give my live is suicide in "Gods eyes" an unforgivable cost why be what you consider "free" on earth for an eternity of damnation if God exist truly then let him provide this earth with salvation... Mr. Dread's... your good ! from ancient times , god commanded his army solomon, king david-so i continue the fight there is a natural mystic blowing through the air if you listen carefully now-you will hear this could be the first trumpet might as well be the last many more will have to suffer-many more will have to die dont ask me why..... i try to live my life by the book of life even though i know-some is a lie i try my best to do my best-and still we cry if i am wrong-let my god condem me if i am right-let me bask in his glory of his light so to all my foe's and freinds you may live to see today but we not know the end dazner's... The end is everclear present every day it shines bright it's around every corner in every car at every street light unevidable it's a part of gods plan but at his time not ours to be created equal is a lie but we don't hold the powers why attempt to convert my energy to a cause mayhem for a dream it's just that and may not come true ever why be part of this team Never be condemed though my tears pierce through bullets astray cause my words mean more than a war each letter is life in another day I'll forever ponder the these plots set by "our" leaders for a free race to give my life for this cause is to say i'm done and tired of this place but i live for that which needs me for that i could never be erased my existance is more than just a one cause but to free the world in my beliefs i'm forever straight in my cause i'll never be curled Do we really get charged a fee for being Brown cause truth is i haven't paid For one voice can make difference a forever echo never to fade.. __________________ Wanna Get Away? I'm a Rapper, Father and Husband which means a Poet, Leader and ATM

09-01-2008, 06:48 PM	#3
dazner Who you'd like to be! Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3,596 Tokenz: 4,993	Re: Poetry Battle... TY appreciate the feed! __________________ Wanna Get Away? I'm a Rapper, Father and Husband which means a Poet, Leader and ATM

09-03-2008, 07:37 AM	#4
Zorak Age of Empires III addict Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Surrey, England, UK Posts: 2,949 Tokenz: 32,133	Re: Poetry Battle... You're pretty good actually - I'd take a little more thought into the layout of the poem. a good poem can be ruined by poor layout, theres no set rule as to how to set out a poem, it just has to fit the mood. But your a better writer than the other guy there __________________ "...I will die alone, upside down, in a pub toilet." Hey hey, My my, Rock and Roll can never die.

09-03-2008, 07:46 AM	#5
wednesday Prozac Princess Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: In da chemist..... Posts: 11,203 Tokenz: 22,664	Re: Poetry Battle... Well written daz <<impressed hugs __________________ Thanks to Peter.....

09-03-2008, 04:49 PM	#6
dazner Who you'd like to be! Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3,596 Tokenz: 4,993	Re: Poetry Battle... thanks Zorak and Wedzy... I tried to take it a little easy with vocab on this one because most of the people on that site don't use as much as I do but...hey... thanks again..for the feed! __________________ Wanna Get Away? I'm a Rapper, Father and Husband which means a Poet, Leader and ATM

09-03-2008, 05:03 PM	#7
Valentin Banned Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: London Posts: 467	Re: Poetry Battle... i like lemons i like aid. lemonade diet. shall bring great success.

09-03-2008, 05:07 PM	#8
dazner Who you'd like to be! Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3,596 Tokenz: 4,993	Re: Poetry Battle... you get wierder by the day Valentino! __________________ Wanna Get Away? I'm a Rapper, Father and Husband which means a Poet, Leader and ATM

09-03-2008, 05:07 PM	#9
Anie Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Alberta Posts: 1,532 Tokenz: 3,450	Re: Poetry Battle... that is beautiful!!!! I love poetry and this is very imaginative, symbolic, meaningful... keep it up! __________________ Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

09-03-2008, 05:20 PM	#10
dazner Who you'd like to be! Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3,596 Tokenz: 4,993	Re: Poetry Battle... i have plenty more... hey Anie post some of your work... __________________ Wanna Get Away? I'm a Rapper, Father and Husband which means a Poet, Leader and ATM

09-03-2008, 05:25 PM	#11
Anie Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Alberta Posts: 1,532 Tokenz: 3,450	Re: Poetry Battle... I lost my work actually but I can write one up soon I suppose. You're very great! __________________ Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

09-04-2008, 09:32 AM	#12
dazner Who you'd like to be! Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3,596 Tokenz: 4,993	Re: Poetry Battle... TY and ps...people be truthfull with me please... if you really don't like it just tell me... I'm sure you guys won't have a problem with that right? __________________ Wanna Get Away? I'm a Rapper, Father and Husband which means a Poet, Leader and ATM

09-06-2008, 04:16 PM	#13
siasl Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: southern california Posts: 193 Tokenz: 3,467	Re: Poetry Battle... still just browsin' around here, gettin to know the place nice stuff, dazner

09-06-2008, 04:24 PM	#14
SouthOfHeaven Anti-Social Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Why do you wanna know? STALKER! Posts: 10,808 Tokenz: 7,806	Re: Poetry Battle... I'm telling ya.. Daz great stuff here!! __________________ *May all your ups and* downs be in *bed*.

09-06-2008, 04:58 PM	#15
Fox Mulder Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Southern California Posts: 4,540 Tokenz: 85,901	Re: Poetry Battle... Okay--here is Mulder's poetry. Roses are Red Violet are Blue Wendzy is hot SOH is too!!!

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