man walks into a bar with a monkey

skyblue · 07-30-2008, 07:35 PM

A Man Walks Into a Bar With A Monkey

This guy walks into this bar with his monkey and the bar tender says to him:

Bartender: Hey! No animals allowed in here.

Guy with Monkey: Oh don't worry he'll be good.

Bartender: Well ok but if there's any problems you and your monkey are out. So what will you have?

The guy asks for a beer and tells his monkey to sit down beside him. Everything goes well for the first few minutes until the monkey see two guys playing billiard. The monkey goes to the table and looks over the edge. Every time a ball goes by he grabs the ball and flings it across the table.

Billiard Guy: Hey man your monkey is wrecking our game. Guy with Monkey: Oh! I'm sorry he won't bug you again. Bartender: Hey I told you no problems or you're out.
Guy with Monkey: I'm sorry he'll be good. I'll just finish my beer and we'll leave.

Again after a few minutes of looking at the table the monkey goes back but this time when a ball goes by he grabs it and swallows it whole.

Billiard Guy: Hey Man!! Your dam monkey just ate our freaking ball.

Bartender: All right you and your monkey, get out!

Guy with Monkey: Ok, ok, we'll leave.

A few weeks go by and the guy comes back to the bar.

Bartender: Hey you with the monkey, last time you where here your monkey caused nothing but problems, I don't need you in here.

Guy with Monkey: Actually, you don't need to worry about the monkey he learned his lesson.

Bartender: All right, you two get one more chance but I'm keeping an eye on you. What will you have then?

The guy gets another beer and drinks it at the bar counter. Meanwhile the monkey just sits there waiting, being good. The bar tender keeps looking at the monkey to see what he's doing. After a few minutes the monkey looks at the bowl of peanuts, goes to it and grabs one peanut. He looks at it, takes it and shoves it up its butt, he takes it out again and plops it in its mouth and swallows it.

At seeing this, the bartender is completely grossed out.

Bartender: What the hell was that?

Guy with Monkey: Oh that. Yeah, since the last time we where here he now measures everything before he eats it.

teh_fuzz · 07-30-2008, 08:30 PM

Good one!
Id rep ya but the nazi said no dice!

AnitaBeer · 07-30-2008, 09:38 PM

Haha Ick!

angiecarolina · 08-03-2008, 11:34 AM

dazner · 08-09-2008, 05:36 PM

nice....

SouthOfHeaven · 08-09-2008, 05:51 PM

Lmmfao!!!

The Joker · 08-16-2008, 07:14 AM

Great one!

07-30-2008, 07:35 PM	#1
skyblue DrLovePump Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: here and there Posts: 10,925 Tokenz: 257,711	man walks into a bar with a monkey A Man Walks Into a Bar With A Monkey This guy walks into this bar with his monkey and the bar tender says to him: Bartender: Hey! No animals allowed in here. Guy with Monkey: Oh don't worry he'll be good. Bartender: Well ok but if there's any problems you and your monkey are out. So what will you have? The guy asks for a beer and tells his monkey to sit down beside him. Everything goes well for the first few minutes until the monkey see two guys playing billiard. The monkey goes to the table and looks over the edge. Every time a ball goes by he grabs the ball and flings it across the table. Billiard Guy: Hey man your monkey is wrecking our game. Guy with Monkey: Oh! I'm sorry he won't bug you again. Bartender: Hey I told you no problems or you're out. Guy with Monkey: I'm sorry he'll be good. I'll just finish my beer and we'll leave. Again after a few minutes of looking at the table the monkey goes back but this time when a ball goes by he grabs it and swallows it whole. Billiard Guy: Hey Man!! Your dam monkey just ate our freaking ball. Bartender: All right you and your monkey, get out! Guy with Monkey: Ok, ok, we'll leave. A few weeks go by and the guy comes back to the bar. Bartender: Hey you with the monkey, last time you where here your monkey caused nothing but problems, I don't need you in here. Guy with Monkey: Actually, you don't need to worry about the monkey he learned his lesson. Bartender: All right, you two get one more chance but I'm keeping an eye on you. What will you have then? The guy gets another beer and drinks it at the bar counter. Meanwhile the monkey just sits there waiting, being good. The bar tender keeps looking at the monkey to see what he's doing. After a few minutes the monkey looks at the bowl of peanuts, goes to it and grabs one peanut. He looks at it, takes it and shoves it up its butt, he takes it out again and plops it in its mouth and swallows it. At seeing this, the bartender is completely grossed out. Bartender: What the hell was that? Guy with Monkey: Oh that. Yeah, since the last time we where here he now measures everything before he eats it. __________________ the after christmas prize fund.....jassillem26,250..skyblue25,000...mystic15 .000....vshayes26,250....wednesday40,000....wookie girl25,000....keight25,000....Natasha25,000....bad boy@thewheel20,000

07-30-2008, 08:30 PM	#2
teh_fuzz Want a mushroom stamp??? Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 2,833 Tokenz: 35,103	Re: man walks into a bar with a monkey Good one! Id rep ya but the nazi said no dice! __________________ FoxMulder In Disguise

07-30-2008, 09:38 PM	#3
AnitaBeer Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Sioux Falls, SD Posts: 1,238 Tokenz: 13,577	Re: man walks into a bar with a monkey Haha Ick!

08-03-2008, 11:34 AM	#4
angiecarolina Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 30 Tokenz: 435	Re: man walks into a bar with a monkey __________________ Share Music, Share Creativity, Join the Tribe! http://www.TribeofNoise.com

08-09-2008, 05:36 PM	#5
dazner Who you'd like to be! Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 3,574 Tokenz: 4,819	Re: man walks into a bar with a monkey nice.... __________________ Wanna Get Away? I'm a Rapper, Father and Husband which means a Poet, Leader and ATM

08-09-2008, 05:51 PM	#6
SouthOfHeaven Anti-Social Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Why do you wanna know? STALKER! Posts: 10,808 Tokenz: 7,787	Re: man walks into a bar with a monkey Lmmfao!!! __________________ *May all your ups and* downs be in *bed*.

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