Register FAQ Members List Tokenz Arcade vBTube Calendar

Go Back   Offtopicz > Off Topic > Humor
Reload this Page Five Smart-Ass Winning Answers

Reply
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-01-2005, 04:30 PM   #16
Member
 
hhayes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: georgia baby
Posts: 6,250
Tokenz: 1,296
hhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this pointhhayes is an unknown quantity at this point
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
haha that's pretty funny. lmao
hhayes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2005, 05:04 PM   #17
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Amerika
Posts: 4,955
Tokenz: 434
RedStangGT2000 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
#3 is old #2 :rock
RedStangGT2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2005, 05:12 PM   #18
up yours you scum sucker
 
UncleBacon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: 7th layer of hell...I mean southern Md
Posts: 874
Tokenz: 2,081
UncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enoughUncleBacon will become famous soon enough
Default Re: RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
Quote:
Originally Posted by Haus
im not that quick when it comes to saying smart ass remarks but sometimes i want to say something every time i order a cheese steak and the counter person asks if i want cheese on that. sometimes i have a mean streak and want to say uh yeah you dumb ass. but i try to be nice and just smile.

but i remember when i was younger i worked at this gas station and this is when i smoked alot of cigs and i smoked next to the pump while doing a full serve and the lady asked me if i planned on blowing us up and with out hesitation i said "no i plan on you blowing me" i was a really mean kid.

me either
__________________
you look like a retarded slingblade
UncleBacon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2005, 06:00 AM   #19
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Tokenz: 120
Wingflier is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
Quote:
Originally Posted by emilyb49
One time I was in Sam's Club with my mom and stepdad. There was an older lady employee giving out samples of meatballs. They were pretty good, and my stepdad asked what they were again (as in the brand) and in the cockiest old lady voice ever, she said, "They're meatballs!"

Or for a while, Burger King would ask how many ketchup packets you want with your meal, we'd always ask for like 15 1/2.

My boyfriend used to kid around and say something about '24 blowjobs' in a British accent. Well one time we were in McDonald's drive-thru and they asked if we wanted anything else and my boyf said, "Yes, I'd like 24 blow jobs please". The girl said she gets her break in an hour.
Was the girl being serious or could you tell.

...it wouldn't surprise me.
Wingflier is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2005, 12:51 PM   #20
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 18
Tokenz: 121
rastakate27 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
those are hilarious. laughed a good long time about those. especially those ones that were the nightmare stories posted. very good.
rastakate27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2005, 05:30 PM   #21
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Tokenz: 120
HomerclesX is an unknown quantity at this point
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
Hey thought I'd Share this one:

Cop pulls a guy over and says: "So you realize you were Speeding?".
Guy: "Do YOU realize you had to SPEED to catch me?!?.... I think it's only fair we split the ticket!"


lol... it aint an original, saw it on stand-up one time, but none the less funny!
HomerclesX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2005, 05:34 PM   #22
Boss
Administrator
 
vshayes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Warner Robins, GA
Posts: 19,783
Tokenz: 213,245
vshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the rough
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
that was gonna be my out when I got pulled over next!! But I work with the law, so they would laugh at me..
__________________

What I Wish For You My Sons

What I wish for you today and every day there after,
I wish for you the joys of life to come,
I wish for you that the life you lead may be praised by God for now and always,
I wish for you the knowledge to face life as it comes,
I wish for you hope and wisdom that I have instilled in you to know the difference between right and wrong,
I wish for you all the dreams and hope that you could ever imagine,
I wish for you love for everlasting life.
vshayes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2005, 04:45 PM   #23
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Tokenz: 120
piyush1982 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
This friend in our university halls was trying to make fun of another guy wearing a beanie hat.

He puts it on his head, and goes "I look like I'm wearing a condom."

This instantly came out from my side:

"So you admit you're a dick, then."

I don't remember him making any more smart ass comments that night.
piyush1982 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2005, 05:14 PM   #24
Senior Member
 
AmoRaL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Daloof, MN
Posts: 126
Tokenz: 124
AmoRaL is an unknown quantity at this pointAmoRaL is an unknown quantity at this pointAmoRaL is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
Quote:
Originally Posted by piyush1982
This friend in our university halls was trying to make fun of another guy wearing a beanie hat.

He puts it on his head, and goes "I look like I'm wearing a condom."

This instantly came out from my side:

"So you admit you're a dick, then."

I don't remember him making any more smart ass comments that night.
lmao good one wned
__________________
AmoRaL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2005, 05:23 PM   #25
Boss
Administrator
 
vshayes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Warner Robins, GA
Posts: 19,783
Tokenz: 213,245
vshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the roughvshayes is a jewel in the rough
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
:rofl wned
__________________

What I Wish For You My Sons

What I wish for you today and every day there after,
I wish for you the joys of life to come,
I wish for you that the life you lead may be praised by God for now and always,
I wish for you the knowledge to face life as it comes,
I wish for you hope and wisdom that I have instilled in you to know the difference between right and wrong,
I wish for you all the dreams and hope that you could ever imagine,
I wish for you love for everlasting life.
vshayes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2005, 05:24 PM   #26
Senior Member
 
Hurt911gen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Utah (shithole)
Posts: 1,351
Tokenz: 258
Hurt911gen has a little shameless behaviour in the pastHurt911gen has a little shameless behaviour in the pastHurt911gen has a little shameless behaviour in the pastHurt911gen has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOriginalJames
i'm drunk. i only paid for one of the three pitchers we had. i'mteh drunked. holy fucking shit. coors light. yes drinking coriours lite drunk.'
Hurt911gen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2005, 08:13 AM   #27
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1
Tokenz: 120
Pheonix is an unknown quantity at this point
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
i got a semi-good smart arse answer that happened to myself.

i rang my girlfriend's work and the reception picked up the phone and i asked if my girlfriend was available (not that type of available...i know what some of u are thinking lol) and the receptionist replied "What's the nature of the call?" in a snooty tone... then i quicly replied "It's nice..." then she hanged up on me.
Pheonix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2005, 08:17 AM   #28
V.I.P User
 
AtlanticBlue99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Evans, Georgia
Posts: 2,949
Tokenz: 432
AtlanticBlue99 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default RE: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
haha, i would get a few buddies and intimidate the dumbass receptionist. not really, though. but yea, that was kinda smartass.

ill try to pay attention to myself more because i am usually a very crafty smartass, ill think of something to say today
__________________
"Smokey Mountains"
http://www.moddedmustangs.com/forums/image-apic958.jpg
AtlanticBlue99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-2006, 12:20 AM   #29
V.I.P User
 
elluko's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: BC Canada, Eh?
Posts: 4,016
Tokenz: 599
elluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished roadelluko is on a distinguished road
Default Re: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
ha! good one!
__________________
elluko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-23-2006, 11:31 PM   #30
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 3
Tokenz: 120
Cogniac7401 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: FIVE SMART-ASS WINNING ANSWERS
I saw those a while ago there were a lot more of them when I heard it. I'll have to try and find them.
Cogniac7401 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
2007 Smartarsed answers Mrs Behavin General Discussion 1 12-13-2007 10:20 AM
Winning Mega Millions tickets sold in NJ & Georgia Jersey Politics 2 03-07-2007 03:52 PM
The best 6 smartass answers of 2006 Mrs Behavin General Discussion 8 10-28-2006 04:44 PM


Contact Us - Offtopicz - Top

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.1.0 ©2007, Crawlability, Inc.
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007 - 2008, PixelFX Studios
Design by HTWoRKS