Men VS Dogs

Temperamental · 05-19-2008, 05:00 AM

1. How Dogs and Men Are the Same
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both mark their territory.
Both are bad at asking you questions.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Neither does any dishes.
Both pass gas shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Neither understands what you see in cats.

2. How Dogs Are Better Than Men
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
Dogs understand what no means.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs are color blind.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

3. Where Dogs Fall Short
Men only have two feet that track in mud.
Men can buy you presents.
Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.
Men are a little bit more subtle.
Dogs have dog breath all the time.
Men can do math stuff.
Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.
And the number one reason dogs fall short... It's fun to dry off a wet man!!

05-19-2008, 05:00 AM	#1
Temperamental Between darkness and wonder Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,415 Tokenz: 12,373	Men VS Dogs 1. How Dogs and Men Are the Same Both take up too much space on the bed. Both are threatened by their own kind. Both mark their territory. Both are bad at asking you questions. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches. Neither does any dishes. Both pass gas shamelessly. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. Both like dominance games. Both are suspicious of the postman. Neither knows how to talk on the telephone. Neither understands what you see in cats. 2. How Dogs Are Better Than Men Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. Dogs miss you when you're gone. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong. Dogs don't criticize your friends. Dogs admit when they're jealous. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out. Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw). Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence. You can train a dog. Dogs are easy to buy for. You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams. Dogs understand what no means. Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner. Dogs admit it when they're lost. Dogs are color blind. Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do. Dogs mean it when they kiss you. 3. Where Dogs Fall Short Men only have two feet that track in mud. Men can buy you presents. Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block. Men are a little bit more subtle. Dogs have dog breath all the time. Men can do math stuff. Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it. And the number one reason dogs fall short... It's fun to dry off a wet man!! __________________ "Ice cream. You will buy ice cream. You love ice cream. Your life is pointless. Your existence is meaningless. And now, ice cream." -Invader Zim, ice cream vendor.

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