New Direction for any War

GraceAbounds · 05-13-2008, 02:04 PM

New Direction for any War:

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone out run a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

Peter Parka · 05-13-2008, 06:29 PM

GraceAbounds · 05-13-2008, 07:08 PM

This email is soooooooooooooooooooooo made for my Dad. LOL!

Maulds · 05-13-2008, 07:54 PM

I agree

Butterfly · 05-14-2008, 02:34 AM

Brilliant!

Temperamental · 05-18-2008, 04:20 AM

Lol!!!! Rep!

05-13-2008, 02:04 PM	#1
GraceAbounds V.I.P User Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 7,324 Tokenz: 1,867	New Direction for any War New Direction for any War: I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch. If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone out run a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night! Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it. __________________ "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of "liberalism," they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

05-13-2008, 06:29 PM	#2
Peter Parka King Of Cunts Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Harlow, Essex, England Posts: 23,362 Tokenz: 112,822	Re: New Direction for any War __________________

05-13-2008, 07:08 PM	#3
GraceAbounds V.I.P User Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 7,324 Tokenz: 1,867	Re: New Direction for any War This email is soooooooooooooooooooooo made for my Dad. LOL! __________________ "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of "liberalism," they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

05-13-2008, 07:54 PM	#4
Maulds Moderator Staff Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: TN Posts: 4,832 Tokenz: 8,580	Re: New Direction for any War I agree __________________ Member Of The Conservatives In Exile Est.11/5/2008 anticipated date of death 11/6/2012

05-14-2008, 02:34 AM	#5
Butterfly Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Johannesburg, South Africa Posts: 598 Tokenz: 1,788	Re: New Direction for any War Brilliant! __________________

05-18-2008, 04:20 AM	#6
Temperamental Between darkness and wonder Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 1,415 Tokenz: 12,376	Re: New Direction for any War Lol!!!! Rep! __________________ "Ice cream. You will buy ice cream. You love ice cream. Your life is pointless. Your existence is meaningless. And now, ice cream." -Invader Zim, ice cream vendor.

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