Go Back   Offtopicz > Off Topic > Humor

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-22-2008, 12:03 AM   #1
Moderator
Staff
 
Mrs Behavin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Hot Springs Arkansas
Posts: 20,383
Tokenz: 11,312
Mrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the roughMrs Behavin is a jewel in the rough
Default The way children see things

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-ye ar-old shout from the
back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the
toilet a few days ago.

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from
his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer
the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then
she added, "Momm y can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth
fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the
next morning."

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting
my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!"

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's
voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear
Mrs Behavin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2008, 04:28 AM   #2
Between darkness and wonder
 
Temperamental's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,415
Tokenz: 12,376
Temperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished roadTemperamental is on a distinguished road
Default Re: The way children see things

LOL!!!
I loved the Bible, opinions, and school ones.
__________________
"Ice cream. You will buy ice cream. You love ice cream. Your life is pointless. Your existence is meaningless. And now, ice cream."
-Invader Zim, ice cream vendor.
Temperamental is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2008, 12:04 PM   #3
Member
 
AUFred's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Prattville, Alabama
Posts: 174
Tokenz: 913
AUFred is an unknown quantity at this pointAUFred is an unknown quantity at this pointAUFred is an unknown quantity at this pointAUFred is an unknown quantity at this pointAUFred is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: The way children see things

that was good
__________________
Isaiah 40:31
AUFred is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-08-2008, 05:41 PM   #4
Member
 
Baby Jai's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Jersey
Posts: 96
Tokenz: 2,352
Baby Jai is an unknown quantity at this pointBaby Jai is an unknown quantity at this pointBaby Jai is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: The way children see things

now thats adorable
Baby Jai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2008, 10:25 AM   #5
Member
 
SouthOfHeaven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Why do you wanna know? STALKER!
Posts: 10,815
Tokenz: 7,872
SouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enoughSouthOfHeaven will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The way children see things

that was sooo friggin cute!!
__________________
May all your ups and
downs be in bed.
SouthOfHeaven is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
children BreakfastSurreal Humor 4 04-14-2008 10:06 AM
A Call to Ban Smoking in Cars (With Children) Suzie Politics 30 10-12-2007 01:36 PM
Why God created Children GraceAbounds Relationships & Family 3 09-19-2007 01:03 PM
Prayer. Why is God selective? All Else Failed Religion 102 06-15-2007 08:16 PM
MRI Scans Find Larger Brains in Children With Autism Mrs Behavin Politics 7 12-12-2005 10:18 PM



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.1.0 ©2007, Crawlability, Inc.
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007 - 2008, PixelFX Studios
Design by HTWoRKS