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| Moderator Staff Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Hot Springs Arkansas
Posts: 20,383
Tokenz: 11,312 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-ye ar-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago. OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Momm y can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning." SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear |
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| | #2 |
| Between darkness and wonder Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,415
Tokenz: 12,376 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | LOL!!! I loved the Bible, opinions, and school ones.
__________________ "Ice cream. You will buy ice cream. You love ice cream. Your life is pointless. Your existence is meaningless. And now, ice cream." -Invader Zim, ice cream vendor.
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| | #3 |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Prattville, Alabama
Posts: 174
Tokenz: 913 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | that was good
__________________ Isaiah 40:31 |
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| | #4 |
| Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Jersey
Posts: 96
Tokenz: 2,352 ![]() ![]() ![]() | now thats adorable |
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| | #5 |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Why do you wanna know? STALKER!
Posts: 10,815
Tokenz: 7,872 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | that was sooo friggin cute!!
__________________ ![]() May all your ups and downs be in bed. |
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