Divorce letter

Kat · 10-03-2007, 05:53 PM

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever.I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband -

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was
born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

Boomer · 10-03-2007, 06:31 PM

Mother Fucker!

Silious950 · 10-03-2007, 06:44 PM

Hahahahaha Great!

COOL_BREEZE2 · 10-03-2007, 07:33 PM

LOL. The irony of it.

UncleBacon · 10-03-2007, 07:52 PM

haha I've seen the same thing but switched rolls before

Mrs Behavin · 10-03-2007, 07:52 PM

Ria · 10-03-2007, 07:55 PM

Ha ha ha

that's hilarious Kat - excellent post girl!

Justice does happen occasionally eh?

CRZY72004 · 10-04-2007, 01:19 PM

oh snap

Peter Parka · 10-04-2007, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleBacon

haha I've seen the same thing but switched rolls before

Yeah, with a couple of wording differences, the first part looks more like something a woman would say about her bloke, substitute soaps for football and the underwear ect.

Good one nonetheless!

10-03-2007, 05:53 PM	#1
Kat watch it...I bite Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: CT Posts: 8,108 Tokenz: 3,322	Divorce letter Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband - Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem. __________________ Life is what you make of it....dont waste a moment...it ends too soon

10-03-2007, 06:31 PM	#2
Boomer Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Houston Texas Posts: 13,946 Tokenz: 12,511	Re: Divorce letter Mother Fucker! __________________

10-03-2007, 07:33 PM	#4
COOL_BREEZE2 aka CB Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 11,313 Tokenz: 647	Re: Divorce letter LOL. The irony of it. __________________ Yeah, there always after my lucky charms. What? Why does every one always laugh when I say that. They are after me lucky charms. What?

10-03-2007, 07:52 PM	#5
UncleBacon up yours you scum sucker Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: 7th layer of hell...I mean southern Md Posts: 874 Tokenz: 2,081	Re: Divorce letter haha I've seen the same thing but switched rolls before __________________ you look like a retarded slingblade

10-03-2007, 07:52 PM	#6
Mrs Behavin Moderator Staff Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Hot Springs Arkansas Posts: 20,382 Tokenz: 11,242	Re: Divorce letter __________________ http://amyssweettoothrecipes.blogspot.com/ http://dumasgang.blogspot.com/

10-03-2007, 07:55 PM	#7
Ria The OTz multi-quoter! Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 11,147 Tokenz: 10,084	Re: Divorce letter Ha ha ha that's hilarious Kat - excellent post girl! Justice does happen occasionally eh?

10-04-2007, 01:19 PM	#8
CRZY72004 V.I.P User Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Arizona Posts: 4,676 Tokenz: 994	Re: Divorce letter oh snap

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